When living in Texas, I learned that Native Americans recognized the wisdom of the elderly in their tribes. They learned from them about what was important in life and when they died the tribe had a respectful way to honor them.
Sadly, I do not find that the wisdom that they practiced is replicated sufficiently here. In Romania, when I first came (Eds: in late 1994), I read about how young people pushed out the elderly to sit in the street so that they could occupy their property. Thus, they were exposing that their affection and/or respect for parents or other caretakers was not genuine and that any aspect thereof could be ignored for the sake of satisfying personal greed.
Thus, they also exposed the false face that we used to call “two-faced” when such surprising events unfolded. Rather than asking if one could be helpful, attempts to push them out in some way occur shockingly catching by the ones who formerly trusted in the genuine care that they considered to have existed.
Being told not to bother them, even assuming that the elder ones are not fully cognitive of what is attempted, the behavior is such that the shock is viscerally painful. No matter whether help to survive and grow was given for years or only for a short time, the elderly find it difficult to believe in the treachery when it happens. Why? Who taught them to behave in that manner? How did the decision get made?
How did they determine that the elderly had no ability to comprehend? How could they experience hospitality and not recognize the genuineness of that reception? How could they ask to be received and then run out the door without even so much as a word to the hosts that had invited them in with a cordiality that was not even so much as recognized, much less respected. Passing over such behaviors might have contributed to the more treacherous behavior that later occurred but is no excuse for the persons who – step by step – exposed their intentions – intentions never suspected by the elderly involved. Passing over each step that moved in that directions was quite an error. In fact, many times the elderly are fully cognizant of, not only in what is happening nearby, but also what is happening in the wider world 4now that so much is available for them to access with the modern means of communication available to everyone around the world.
It appears to me that the lucky ones are those whose contacts with family and friends are positive and interesting and helpful when needed. And the ones maintaining the greedy pose, like that of long ago, are doomed to an existence that they create through their own behavior. No future acceptance of the persons involved can include trust that the behavior will not occur once mdore.
The choice to be in good relationship and the reverse should not be difficult to make.
